These are thoughts, not a paragraph so don’t look for order here. It is faint at best, meandering.

I call myself Noel. My name isn’t really Noel, but I was born just a handful of hours before Christmas and I like the name Noel. It’s cozy, and clean like snow. This will be my little diary, mainly as I set to make myself happier. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very satisfied with the way things are. Satisfied in the way that I think my face is really pretty with my pale blue eyes and my freckles and my little nose and all my brown hair falling around me. My lips are red because I bite them a lot, which feels like home. I like being cozy but not bundled up because I like to be free and have everything touch my skin. I’m satisfied. But I’m going to be happier. First of all I’m going to stop worrying about all the pretty college boys or glaring lack thereof and focus on me and my sunday morning music and my writing. But I also want to be thinner. Currently I weigh in at about 140 pounds (I haven’t checked lately,) and my goal is to be at about 125. I don’t really think I’m overweight or anything at 5’6.5”, but I just feel better when I’m thinner. I’d like to pad softly across wooden floors and feel my cheekbones when I hold mugs to them. I am not in a talking mood today. Crackling radios comfort me, so does the sound of the notes of a classical piece falling onto the shoe-pink-leather-polished floor of a ballet studio (ones with musty black stairs and white windowframes?) But anyways, my goal is to be 130 pounds by Christmas. That’s 34 days away, so I need to lose .29 pounds a day or about 2 pounds a week. According to Dr. Google, my trusted physician, that is as much weight as can be lost healthily without causing problems. So good, I would never want to make myself sick. That isn’t the point at all, is it? The point is to sit under the Christmas tree and be warm in my pajamas and feel light like a snowflake and rub my feet together. Not to be sick. 

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